July Sixteenth

I complain a lot for a happy person. Everything bothers me. Why is that? Why is it that something has to bother me? Why can't I just grasp my happy feelings and hold on for whatever ride they'll throw me on? No, something always has to bother me. My relative forgot to ask for lemonade in my Starbucks drink, someone wore the same shirt as I did, my cat won't stop meowing, my school assignment is too boring, my friend is too busy to hang out with me, nothing works for me. I don't know why that is.

People bother me, but not in an, " Oh people bother me I hate all people I have to avoid them all grr never go outside curses on humanity" type way. It is more of a, "You, (Insert name here) are bothering me at this moment and I won't forget this no matter how wonderful of a person you turn out to be." There is a girl that a lot of people enjoy and for her sake we will call her her Ellie. Ellie is that girl that teachers adore and adults find to be interesting and everyone wants to know about her because she is a mystery. You see, I'm mutual friends with this Ellie and I hear wonderful things about her but I also hear terrible things about her from people that have Drama with her, so I decided to wait and meet her and judge her then. I had a few encounters with her after that where she was pretty short and cold with me, but I brushed them off and just assumed she was in a bad mood at the time and didn't think anything of it. A close friend of mine, let's call him Jerry, told me that he was talking to her and that she was, "just like you, Sabina!" I didn't believe him, so I checked her out on the Internet. We had very similar interests and career goals and that bothered me to no end. Maybe that is the problem, you know, people that are friends with my friends that are similar to me. It makes sense to have them as friends, but I still don't like it.

I'm honestly happy with most of the things in my life. I think I just have to focus on myself and not think about any of the consequences.